Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Life improves.

When BabyMama heard BD filed for custody, she was irate. HOW DARE BD leave HER and then want BB too?! Well, she was living with her mother, her father, her sister, her sister's 3 kids, and her brother. That's 8 people not including BM and BB. Ten people in one small house. BM didn't even have a job. So BD had a stable job, a 2 bedroom apt, and was more than willing to take care of BB. So BM's father told BM, "Get the most child support with the least amount of visitation." What an asshat. And BM's father admitted he said this to BD.


Now that BabyDaddy has $6 a month for groceries after paying child support and bills, he can't come visit me. So I will go to him. But I'm in a car accident [not my fault - I was rear ended while at a stop light]**this was a big deal. I was in physical therapy for a few months and had to take incompletes in 2 of my classes because of it** that totals my car and I'm now in a rental. What does he do? He has a spare car that he paid cash for years ago that he just got back from his brother. His brother had borrowed it and now BabyDaddy has offered to teach me how to drive it and told me I can borrow it until I get another one!!! Um, I live 4 hours away!!! Maybe it was the newness of the relationship that made him trust me, I don't know. He taught me how to drive a standard and on a hill, no less, because where I lived is FULL of very steep hills. Not fun for a newbie stick driver.

So now I have a way to come visit. I was going to school full time during the week and working Thurs night, Friday night, and Saturday night from 7pm to 7:30am. So I go into work at 7pm Thursday night and basically work, come home to sleep, eat, shower, and go back to work. This repeats til I get off 7:30am Sunday morning. So I'd get off work Sunday morning and go get my dog and clothes and drive the 3.5 - 4 hours to BabyDaddy's house. I'd stay all week and drive back to work on Thursday evening. It was exhausting, but BabyDaddy and I were very close by now.

We had been dating for several months by now and were each other's best friend. BD didn't have much in terms of baby things because BabyMama took EVERY.SINGLE.THING when BD decided to move out. She took everything and left BD with nothing. Not even a diaper. And then when she brought BabyBoy for a visit, she didn't bring formula, bottles, nothing. So BabyDaddy had to borrow money to get formula, bottles, etc. I was livid. I had very little money, but I went to a resale shop in my town and bought 4 bags full of toys and clothes for BabyBoy. When I showed up that Sunday, BabyDaddy had tears streaming down his cheeks. He said it was like Christmas. He hugged me tighter than usual.

So we went out shopping and I bought diapers, wipes, etc. BabyDaddy's family couldn't stand BabyMama even while they were dating, but they were more than willing to help BabyDaddy out so they got him some diapers, bottles, formula,etc. What's so irritating is that the baby gifts from them, BabyMama took. She finally loaned BabyDaddy a portable crib for BabyBoy to sleep in so he wouldn't have to sleep in the floor. How thoughtful of her.

The next few months were nice that we weren't having to say code words on the phone since she was no longer around. We had a code word for "I love you." BabyDaddy decided on "moogle." I was like, WTF is that? But that's BabyDaddy for you. He is funny like that. [When we got our wedding bands, I had "moogle" inscribed on the inside of it. :) ]

Then BabyMama's asshat father passed away. BM didn't have anyone to talk to, so guess who she came to visit? BABYDADDY!! Yes, she did. Thankfully I wasn't there. But she came over and cried and cried and said she knew he'd understand because BD has lost his mother a few years ago. She commented on how clean and tidy his apt was and couldn't get over how nice it looked. Uh, yeah, because SHE wasn't living there!

She has no idea he and I are dating, so she makes some remarks about how they should try to work it out. BD says he's not interested, so she huffs off. Oh, have I mentioned that a month after he and I started dating (she didn't know this, though), she got him a valentine's gift? Know what it was? A VIBRATOR!! BD was repulsed in more ways than one, but she said, "What? It's a massager!!" She didn't realize she got him a vibrator. And yes, I believe she was that dumb because I know her and she REALLY IS that clueless at times. Ugh.

After 8 months of dating and driving back and forth, BabyDaddy asks me to move in with him. We had discussed it before, but he had wanted to be on his own for a bit. I respected that. I just knew he couldn't afford to do it and I was throwing away money on rent, utilities, etc on a place I didn't occupy much. So we moved in together and at this point, BabyMama still had NO idea. Then an acquaintance of both of theirs came by to see BabyDaddy and I was there. We tried not to be obvious but she figured out we were dating and told BabyMama. Who of course was jealous and angry. We made sure I was never there during BabyBoy exchange. BabyBoy would scream and cry when he had to go back to BabyMama and this broke BD's heart. He'd come home in tears. It just sucked.

Since I had officially moved, I needed to find a job. I was driving back up on the weekends (Thu evening, actually) and working, then crashing at a friend's apt during the day while she was at work, then I'd shower and go to work before she got home. I did this Friday and Saturday, then would drive to my NEW home :) on Sunday mornings when I got off. It was exhausting and I did it for 2 months.

I applied at a temp agency and had my interview on Thursday afternoon before I left for my long drive to work. They called me Friday and left a voicemail on BabyDaddy's machine. They had a position at a hospital where I could start Monday if I wanted. I didn't even have to interview because the manager was so short handed she would just try me out. I drove home Sunday morning, slept a few hours, then stayed up so I could sleep that night. I started the temp job in a clinic at a hospital on Monday and worked all week til Thursday, when I left work a couple of hours early so I could make the drive to my old job. I turned in my 2 week notice and worked like a crazy person until I was done.

I finally had cut my ties from the city 4 hours away and was settled back in my hometown. It was refreshing. I finally had money to pay bills and not be utterly broke all the time. He had money to eat and we actually were able to rent movies, go out to dinner, and DO something other than work. And we got to see each other daily. And since I'm in my hometown, I get to see my family more than once or twice a year. :)

We had been dating 8 months at this point and BabyMama still had no idea until the gossip ran and told her. BabyBoy was now 14 months old and loved me. We played and laughed a lot. It was awesome.

A year after moving in together, we got married. BabyMama still had no idea and we were trying to find the right opportunity to tell her. BabyBoy was a toddler and he was the cutest ring bearer EVER. :)

We had a Hawaiian themed wedding and Hawaiian themed casual clothing was encouraged. :) It was SO laid back and so much fun. I need to find some pics and scan them.

So after our honeymoon we had a week or so before we had to get kiddo again. And this time BabyDaddy (now my Hubby-hoo) was going to tell her. Details next post. :)

1 comment:

Misguided Mommy said...

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can't wait to hear her reaction and what kind of bullshit she pulls!